For less than a week, TLC videos and headlines swirled pushing viewers and celebrity news readers to a crashing wave of a likely conclusion: Jon & Kate Gosselin are divorcing. TLC's viewership may return to the 10 million from a few weeks ago if only briefly.
So, now what? It's over. That's life...or reality television in this case.
While my wife and I have yet to watch an episode this season, the purpose of this blog hasn't been to encourage you to watch the show. Its purposes: discouraging gossip about this couple, praying for Jon & Kate Gosselin - individually and as a couple, praying for their children, and providing resources for strengthening marriages.
Now, you might think: "Ha! Lot of good praying for them did - they're getting divorced!" God answers prayers in 1 of 3 ways: yes, no, and maybe/wait.
Thus, you might conclude that God wants Jon & Kate to get divorced. Malachi 2:16 says, "'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel."
Jon & Kate have to be willing be listen to the Holy Spirit. They have to be receptive of the intercessory prayers being lifted up on their behalf. Romans 8:26–27 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
All of our prayers have been heard for this family and will continue to be heard if you're compelled to intercede on behalf of Jon & Kate and their children. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
In case you feel Jon & Kate are unworthy of your intercessory prayers, please note for whom you should pray: all in authority (1 Timothy 2:2); ministers (Philippians 1:19); the church (Psalm 122:6); friends (Job 42:8); fellow countrymen (Romans 10:1); the sick (James 5:14); enemies (Jeremiah 29:7); those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44); those who forsake you (2 Timothy 4:16); and all men (1 Timothy 2:1).
We are all called to intercede for others. True intercessory prayer seeks not only to know God’s will and see it fulfilled, but to see it fulfilled whether or not it benefits us and regardless of what it costs us. True intercessory prayer seeks God’s glory, not our own.
"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you" (1 Samuel 12:23).
As for divorce, according to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6). Since marriages involve sinful humans, God is not surprised by divorces. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).
Outside of adultery or abuse, divorce is a lack of faith in God, a broken promise to Him and one's spouse, and is selfishness between two people especially when children are involved. When a couple removes their focus from God and become so lost in their own emotions, wants, and desires...divorce is usually the tragic outcome. Yet, God still loves us.
Sadly, the divorce rate among professing Christians is as high as that of unbelievers. Why? Because we allow the world to dictate our wants and desires. We listen to gossip and lies. We cave to lust and other distractions. We ignore the promise we made before God and our spouse to always stand by their side. Yet, God still loves us.
The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9. God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good. That's how He works, because God still loves you.
I do understand that some people just grow apart. It's life and it just happens to some people. Perhaps it's God's plan.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have been married for 31 years and we have a wonderful marriage. I don't know what I would do without him.
I'm not sure what happened to Kate and Jon. In the beginning of their show they were fun to watch, but lately it's hard to watch what's happening. The bottomline is, whatever is God's plan for them, will happen.
Caleb's Wife, thanks for being the first to comment here. Praise God for your 31 years of marriage! That's such a blessing. Indeed, we're not to know what is His plan with everyone or certain situations but His Will be done. Amen!
ReplyDeleteneed to get James Dobson in there.
ReplyDeleteSince they both supposedly have Gods Spirit, they both are beleivers and if they divorce neither of them can remarry unless one of them passed. This is because they both have Gods Spirit. In order for Jon to be set free he needs to confess his sin in order for His Spirit to stop being quenched just as much as she needs to confess also.
Anonymous, thanks for visiting. Indeed, the key here - and something we all have to do sometimes - is step back and realize how wrapped up we're becoming in the world.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, all can seem impossible, too far gone, and too messed up...but if people can be repentant and place their lives at God's feet, there's so much more He can do in and through us.
Rick, Thanks for your website. I have been praying for Jon and Kate for months and agree the gossip isn't helping anyone. I've been married 42 years and Praise God for getting us through the rough spots. My husband is my best friend and I thank God for him. I do pray for healing for Jon and Kate and their relationship with each other and most importantly their relationship with God. Thanks again.
ReplyDeletePeggy, thanks for sharing your comments here and praise God for your 42 years of marriage! What a wonderful testimony to God's love and sustaining grace. Thanks for your support and for interceding for this family. His blessings upon you!
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful to have found your website. I thought, Surely there are others who are wishing to see reconciliation!! I am hopeful, for the sake of the Gosselin family, but also for the sake of the witness to the world, that tomorrow night's message will impact the world in a way none of us could even have imagined. Because that's usually how God does things when His people pray, right? I'm so glad He doesn't leave it up to US to create the solutions, but merely to PRAY for HIS WILL to be DONE!
ReplyDeleteKeri, thanks for your support. Indeed, regardless of Monday's announcement prayer is the answer for anyone who is interested in this family and their show. God does have a way of surprising us when we least expect it and in ways we never expected. His will be done and His blessings upon you!
ReplyDeletePrayer changes people and defeats evil. The evil is laughing at Jon and Kate right now, wanting them to fail and be caught up in the worldly things they are seeking. I pray that they seek both recognize their need to change into better parents. I will pray that they surrender to God and allow him to lead them where they belong.
ReplyDeleteI feel Satan is on the attack in the case of young Christian families. I am praying for Jon and Kate. Their reconciliation could be such a positive examples for married couples in crisis.
ReplyDeleteI really do wish (and pray) that they could work things out. So sad that a little fame went so badly for them. :o(
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 1-3, thanks for sharing here. There is a lot we all can learn here...how to discern, how to love, how to pray. And the additional thought: it's not about getting on your knees and praying for a long period. You could see someone on TV or pass an accident scene and a silent or whispered prayer for peace and healing delights God.
ReplyDeleteI have had a heavy burden to pray for Jon & Kate since the news first broke about troubles in their relationship. I am DISGUSTED by Satan's attacks on families, especially Christian families. It is obvious that somewhere along the journey that Jon & Kate lost their focus, but isn't it a fellow believer's job to cry out to God on their behalf instead of criticizing and judging them? Who are we to judge anyway? Who knows how our marriage would be affected by eight very young children to deal with day in and day out. I only have one soon-to-be three year-old myself and I don't know how they've managed for this long!
ReplyDeleteNo matter what their announcement is tonight, I will continue to pray for reconciliation and healing in their relationship. It may take a while, but I am committed to praying that God would lead them back to each other. It is no secret that their relationship is strained and not where it should be. WHAT IF God did a miracle? WHAT IF God changed their hearts? What type of encouragement would this give to people whose marriages are on the brink? Haven't we all had marital problems? Isn't God big enough to do this?
I am a pastor's wife and have had troubles in my own marriage. At times, walking away seemed to be the best possible thing. But somewhere, we must have people praying for us because despite the anger over irresponsible behavior (on both parts), God miraculously continues to give us grace & mercy (and forgiveness) for each other. After all, isn't that what God gives to us on a daily basis? Does he HAVE to forgive us and show us mercy? Not at all. Does he CHOOSE to do it? Every time.
I am very happy to find a site that is behind this family and not wanting them to fail just for the drama and ratings! I pray that they will say they are going to work it out! When you watch the old shows, you definately see LOVE there...I hope they will do the hard thing and try to find it again rather than what they think is the easy way out and divorce! Those kids have enough they have to go through with thier entire life being opened up for everyone to see. They need thier parents together and show the example of loving parents.
ReplyDeleteI see that divorce papers have been filed for the Gosselins. Perhaps this is God's plan for Jon and Kate. We don't know. It always makes me feel sad when I hear about a couple getting divorced. After all, it is the death of a marriage.
ReplyDeleteWendy, thanks for sharing from your heart. Very powerful words from one who understands what a mighty God we serve.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I'm blessed that you have found this blog as well. Thanks for sharing!
Caleb's Wife, indeed, that is a shame but you are correct - we don't know His plans but we can continue to intercede for them and their children.
Any marriage can have these troubles. My husband and I just celebrated our 34th anniversary recently but we had almost been divorced 3 or 4 times during our marriage. Only by God's grace can even a Christian marriage survive nowadays. I feel bad b/c it seems several times during previous shows they made promises to their children that they will always be together and they just renewed their wedding vows! Although things may look very bad---God can intervene. I wish someone in the Christian community would step in and counsel this couple. I still say Kate's lack of respect toward's Jon has been deeply hurtful to him and it has been done on national TV. I know I deeply hurt my husband with my lack of respect towards him and our marriage almost broke up. God convicted me of my sin through a book called Love and Respect. It really broke my heart to see what I was doing to him as the Lord convicted me. This doesn't mean it is all Kate's fault but I know it has not been helpful. Thank you for praying for them. I hope things will turn around but they need to want it to. It seems like Kate is more distraught about it than Jon is. She mentioned tonight that Jon is very angry with her but he won't talk to her about it. Maybe we should pray specifically that Jon's heart would be turned towards His Lord and then toward his wife. The children should not be put ahead of their marriage. It sounds so out of order!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to have found this blog and to know that I am not the only one that prays every day for this family! I pray that the Gosselin's will refocus on their faith, their family and their love. Playing this trauma out in such a public forum is distracting and destructive to their relationship and their family. No matter how well-intentioned they believe they are about making this "about the kids" -- divorce is rarely (if ever) the answer, and will ultimately damage the children. I truly think they -- obviously -- are caught up in the fame and fortune that their TV program has provided. But just like an addict, they need to give it up, not only for themselves, but for their children. My fervent prayer is that they will get back to basics and put God first. Only with His help, will they be able to heal themselves, their relationship and their family.
ReplyDeleteMy heart just breaks to see this marriage falling apart. We must lift up Jon and Kate and their precious children to our heavenly father. We all must remember to always put God in the center of our marriages and never loose sight of him.
ReplyDeleteI've watched Jon and Kate Plus 8 for years. I must say that I am truly sad that they have chosen to separate. I kept thinking that somehow they could work it out.
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing clips of their footage before they married and the early years. They seemed very much in love and so excited for the future.
It is very sad. I think Kate was truly hurt on tonight's episode. I don't believe that she wants this. I think that Jon is hurt as well from years of Kate being less than kind to him, much less treating him like a man and the leader of their home.
I feel so sorry for their family. I hope that God can heal the wounds. What a hard road ahead for the children. The whole situation is just so sad.
I have been so sad for Jon and Kate - even more so for their eight precious children. I have watched their show for years and even though I have never met them, I feel like I know them. I am praying for them and I am so happy to find this website and know there are people out there who are pulling for them to work this marriage out. Thank you for this website. It is pleasing to God when His children call out and pray for those in need. My husband and I recently celebrated our 20th anniversary. We know several couples struggling with their marriages right now. It has made us realize how much we love each other and are so thankful for the loving marriage we have. Thank you God for blessing us. Please put Your Almighty Healing Hand on the Gosselin family.
ReplyDeleteJon says that he lets Kate rule the roost and that he was too passive -and that was the catalyst of their problems; someone had to be the head of the family and she stepped up and now, instead of talking to her about it, he punishes her. He let temptation get the best of him. I was a young married person not that long ago and that was one of the things I resented about my husband - he was very passive (young) and that really bothered me. He is making a horrid decision for HIS CHILDREN. I am so upset that he can't fast forward the clock by 10 years and see that the grass isn't greener and the problems that TV hasn't caused his children, rather what he has done to their marriage. Please Lord, step in, in the meantime, Dr. Dobson, Please, please talk to this young couple. Don't let them make the same mistake I went through. Jon, you have 8 children that need a role model that LOVES their MOTHER..let go of the bitterness. I can't stand to watch the show anymore because it breaks my heart to see the problems that will come out of this because I have been there myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm commenting from my heart and my thoughts actually sadden me. I have watched over the years as friends marriages have failed. For one Christian couple in particular I prayed and fasted and prayed and interceded for months on end encouraging both in the couple. they still ended up divorcing.
ReplyDeleteI am a huge fan of Jon and Kate + 8 but have found it so difficult to watch since thier problems have surfaced. I as many here also took to interceding for them and now to watch tonite and learn that they have filed for disolution of their marriage was so sad.
I wonder if God is listening. There were and probably still are so many praying for them and yet it seems satan is the one laughing.
I'm frustrated to say the least. I will continue to pray for them in hopes that God will intervene, but I must admit, I'm losing hope.
My heart goes out to them.
ReplyDeletethank you for reacting to the news of this couples marital troubles as you have. Creating this website. I wish more people would stop judging and start dropping to thier knees for fellow believers and un-believers alike. I'm sure Kate/Jon could appreciate to know that there are people out there that really do care about her family and the restoration of it as a unit. I myself have had to deal with restoring a marriage almost torn apart due to infidelity and so I know that anything is possible when we go to God. I didn't have to live my worst nightmare out on national television but at the same time they have in thier grasp the opportunity to show the nation what God can do when you give a marriage to him to put back together. It's not easy but Praise God all things are possible. Thier marriage can be better than it ever was and they can learn more about each other than they ever knew. My prayer is that they exhaust all efforts to save thier marriage and that they don't settle for believing it can't be saved. Put God back in the center and they'll have the peace they both seek.
ReplyDeleteMany of you are sharing from the sadness and disappointments of your hearts tonight. Thank you for your honesty. The fact is, these are real people with real lives and they represent someone close to you...friends or family...or where you nearly were or currently are in your relationship.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've gleaned, there's a lot of hurt and angry feelings between Jon & Kate. That's where prayers can be focused. Healing and communication. Reconciliation would be even better but they have to heal and talk first.
Pray and keep praying. Don't lose heart. There's nothing wrong with repeatedly asking for the same thing in prayer. So long as what you're praying is within the will of God (1 John 5:14-15), keep asking until God grants your request or removes the desire from your heart. Sometimes God is teaching us by allowing us to wait for the resolution. Sometimes what we seek in prayer is not in God's timing. Sometimes what we seek is not what we need.
If you are led to pray for someone or something, keep doing it until you receive an answer or the desire is removed.
This whole website is a joke.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that this website is created in the honor of two "parents" who want nothing more than to sell their family to the perversion of cable TV is appalling.
Honestly, you, as the creator of this website, and everyone who actually buys into this BS, should be ashamed of yourself.
FACT: Over 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.
My parents' marriage ended in divorce. Where is my cable television show?
What these two poor excuses for parents did was be irresponsible and have 8 children. Honestly, in this economy, who could really raise 8 children on ONE income?! Parents are having trouble raising ONE child on YWO incomes in this economical climate.
TLC foots the bill for everything. These children are already growing up thinking they can have everything in the world with the snap of their fingers.
While REAL people, people who don't have hairstylists and make up artists and camera crews, are suffering world wide, you put so much effort into this idiotic blog of yours praying for these two irresponsible idiots because they are getting a divorce?
Seriously? Are you on drugs? Get a clue.
I ferverently pray that God will intercede in their marriage. At one time they loved each other very much. These beautiful children arrived and then they placed them before their marriage...which is not biblical. I've too watched this show for years and have seen Jon take side steps when dealing with anything, leaving Kate no choice but to step in and act as leader and lampsted of the home. This is not bibilical. I can see that there is so much promise in their marriage, because they are not communicating with each other. If they were to start, along with a Christian counselor, they might be able to display a miracle in their home for all the nation to see.
ReplyDeleteI can also see why the couple has not sought out their pastor's help, as he has come out in several places (news outlets) and really made inappropriate comments and discussed matters publicly that should have been private. He owes them both an apology as well as to the children.
Thanks for this site -- it is heartwarming to know that there are others out there that are pleading to God for a reconciliation between these two - that are so caught up in their own lives they forgot about their married life, which their precious children.
Isn't ironic that prior to a wedding the couple will spend hours, days, weeks and months preparing for the at most 20 minute marriage ceremony, but do nothing to prepare for the marriage itself. It's never to late to give it to God. If they truly did, used the resources, and truly put their marriage first, they could do it. What an example that would be to their children in the years to come? Imagine the affect that would have on these precious kids that with God leading their lives, the impossible becomes possible.
In Jesus's name I pray...Amen!
I too have felt compelled to pray for this family. I've been married ten years. At year four we hit a patch so rough that I moved out. I remember the day I finally quit fighting it and looked up to the sky and said to God, "Lord - I cannot deny what your word says to be right and wrong. I don't know how I can ever love my husband again, so I will just let you handle changing my heart." He did (mostly by shining a light onto my own less than perfect self) and now we are in a healthier place than ever and planning for our first child. I hope and pray that Jon and Kate will get the space they need to hear God in the still quiet. Just because they are taking space or beginning divorce proceedings, doesn't mean all hope is lost.
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog because I googled "praying for John and Kate". Ever since the end of the last season I have felt compelled to pray for them. I have always been offended by the way she treated John on camera and I had a feeling that nothing good could come of the way they acted towards each other.
ReplyDeleteI also know that God hears our prayers and that even the worst marriage situations can be healed by Him. So, I've been praying for them. For the sake of their children and the name of Christianity I am praying.
I'm glad that there are others out there lifting them up in prayer as well.
By the way, this past Sunday we had a speaker at our church talk about being persistent in prayer. To keep asking like a child would. (I have a very persistent two year old so I know what that looks like)! So, I would encourage others out there who are praying to keep asking God to heal this marriage and restore what has been torn down.
I love that there are so many people praying for this family. I knew I couldn't be the only one.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to my prayers for Jon & Kate, I am also praying for those in this world who are or have experienced divorce. Just because it happens so frequently in our society, doesn't mean that the hurt and pain aren't heavily felt by all involved.
The one thing the Lord continues to remind me of is the fact that he has given us all the free will to make choices. How awesome is that? :) So, although He can work mighty miracles, we also have the ability to choose to honor our marriages. They might not be easy, but He assures us that we will be blessed for upholding our vows. It is my prayer that the Lord would work a mighty miracle in the lives of Jon and Kate - that they would choose to honor the covenant they made with God and each other.
God has already used this broken marriage to bring together so many others (just look at this website and the countless resources posted here). He will continue to reveal Himself...regardless of what Jon and Kate decide to do.
We serve a powerful God!
I am so sad by their announcement and have been fervently praying for them. I have prayed that Godly mentors would be raised up for each of them, that their hearts would be softened towards God and each other, and that Satan's grip would be freed from them. I am praying that someone can come around them with wisdom and truth and help them before they go through with divorce proceedings. They both need healing and are desperately hurting. Keep praying, God listens. Thank you for starting this site that focuses on helping them and not bashing this poor family.
ReplyDeleteTo reply to Anonymous 27 - the website is not a joke - it's what God calls for - the prayers of the righteous.
ReplyDeleteI married @18, was a Mom by 19, and 23 years later - we're still married, still loving each other, and still best friends. The prayers of the righteous do indeed availeth much!!!
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ReplyDeleteCould it be possible that he does not love her anymore? or she doesn't? Can that happen?
ReplyDeleteSorry I am not too positive here... As I am going through a very hard time in my marriage. I do believe in marriage forever, but it seems that my situation does not have a solution,,,the problem is that I dont feel attracted to my husband anymore, I care for him as a friend, partner...but there is no romance. We do have a child together, so I basicly am with him because of the child,,,but it is so hard to live in a "lie" fake kisses...fake everything..
Please HELP!
"Nothing is impossible with GOD!"
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to have found this blog. It's so rare in this crazy world.
I wanted to say that I've been praying for Jon and Kate's marriage for more than a month now. And I encourage everybody to do the same. There is not a better option for the family but to stay together.
I'm praying for God's will in their marriage, for them to fall in love with each other again. (It's possible when God does it!) For WISE friends and LOVING family to be there for them.
To Anonymous 35 - Please Please seek out the help of a Godly elder woman for guidance that know. Prayer can work miracles! Our God that created the world, Our God that fashioned your child within your womb, Our God that breathed life into you, CAN and WILL work in your married life IF you let HIM.
ReplyDeleteHow does your husband feel about this? If you don't know...ASK HIM!! We all during our married years will go thru times of where the romance wanes thin, due to stress, obligations, and just being plain old tired.
I would recommend that you go out right now and pick up the book, "Love Dare". The whole movie, "FireProof" is based on this...it will take you thru steps that day by day, will allow you to examine YOUR role in your marriage. Are you helping or hindering the romance...
I will pray for YOU, #35, that you may begin to remember what drew you two together in the first place. As you stated, you care for him as a friend --- think about it...you are leaps and bounds ahead of so many troubled couples who cannot even stomach being in the same room with each other.
Please pray for God to open your eyes and heart to the man that you share your child with. soften your heart towards him and allow your heart to grow... There is hope! Remember the God that spoke the world into being is not limited by our human, frail, and sinful imaginations...give it all to HIM in prayer, let go of your reins and watch as He takes you further than you have ever imagined.
Please know that I am praying for you!
In Jesus's name, Amen.
Please post here again,#35 and let me know how it's going...we are all here for you! I am Anonymous 28 and will include #28 in further posts.
To Anonymous #27 - I want to try to reach your heart about your comments.
ReplyDeleteYes, the divorce rate is %50 - very high. But is it necessary...NO! so many couples go into marriage with the knowledge that there is the backdoor, with the big "D" on it if they become unhappy.
That door need not exist - you don't allow it to. There is no greater gift that you can give your child then to love their mother or their father. To demonstrate unconditional love to them for them to observe. I have seen God work miracles in marriages, abusive, alcoholic, you name it.
The vows are promises between not only you and your spouse, but between you and God to love and honor, etc.
The other thing you need to remember, is that they did not have 8 children by choice...they desired to have a 3rd child and having luck with their first pregnancy with fertility drugs, they tried again...we all know the result.
Now...as a Christian, please look at this from a biblical perspective. They may not have become parents of 8 by choice, but they are parents of 8 by choice. I am sure that someone mentioned that they should "selectively reduce" the number of babies within her womb...and Thank You God they chose not to perform that type of abortion. Can you imagine any of those sweet babies not there?
Yes, it is insane that they have 8 kids, but it is what they have and they have tried...much to the dismay of a lot of naysayers...to make it work. The power of our prayers of intercession here can work miracles.
It is so good to know that there are others, prayerfilled people, who realize that there is still a tremendous amount of hope, and NEVER too late for love. From the Anonymous #28 posting
I felt an immense amount of sadness for this family as I watched them announce that the were seperating. But I believe that they love their children and that by sperating and finding some peace they can both make future descions with a softer heart. I have 3 children and my husband and I were in the same position, and we did seperate for 6 months only to discover that we did not want that for ourselves or our children and we found that after we were not angry anymore, we could come together and appreciate one another. We have now been married for 16 years and are very happy and proud of that accomplishment. I only hope that they can find that as well.
ReplyDeleteThey both have issues they need to work on, It's not all Kates fault. Jon needs to grow up and act his age. He's not a 20 year-old college kid, he's a grown man with 8 kids. If he wanted to go out and have fun he never should've had 8 kids. As for Kate she needs to stop being so controlling. Make it a 50/50 decision that's what a marriage is supposed to be. Also she belittles her husband in front of the camera's she has to start treating him as an equal partner and not one of the kids. They need to go away by themselves for a few days without kids, camera's or the paparatzi and hopefully get everything out in the open and work on it from there.
ReplyDelete#35...I'm praying for your marriage. #28 is right about so many things. Take that advice and run with it. It will truly change your life - if you allow it to!
ReplyDelete"Feelings" come and go. We cannot rely on how we feel. Instead, we have to be obedient to God's word.
My husband and I hit the lowest point in our marriage just last week (so I can TOTALLY relate). He was the one who had lost those feelings of attraction. We shed tears together, prayed together and even yelled at one another. However, after my husband spent some time speaking with the Godly men from our church, and we decided to seek out counseling while revisiting the Love Dare book, I'm happy to say that our marriage is healing. PRAISE THE LORD! It's not perfect, but we're both CHOOSING to invest in our vows. We know that the Lord will bless us...and He has already done so (and in just a few short days). ;)
Hang in there and give it to God! He is the ultimate healer!
Anonymous 35, thanks for stopping by and sharing from your heart. It would appear many are being touched by this announcement and its opening many good discussions.
ReplyDeletePlease understand what I say here is in a spirit of love and helpfulness.
Love is a choice and not just a feeling and an action. When we're dating someone, engaged, and the first few months or years of marriage - love is an easy feeling and action. It's easy to be "in love" with someone. While feelings are involved during that time, there's also a lot of being "in lust" and the two can get confused.
If we allow life to get in the way - work, projects, children, distractions - we aren't spending time investing in our spouse. We can be doing a lot of good things for ourselves and others but not spending quality time with our spouse.
This is when love becomes a choice. Do I chose to work at this marriage? Do I chose to keeping learning and growing with this person? Much of that cannot be determined if the communications lines are closed. And they may not even be closed...just be taken for granted. That's so easy to do. We hurt the one's we love so easily...and it begins by not listening to them. Sure, you might be hearing them...but we can't listen if we're allowing distractions to get our attention.
It's also easier to chose not to love when one's focus is not on God. We may think He has our attention, yet our choices and action speak louder than words. To put it another way, there must be THREE people in a marriage - you, your spouse and Jesus Christ. He can help us choose love when we don't even know we need to...or know how to. But if He's being ignored or not being included, the marriage will suffer.
Just don't feel that you're alone in your struggles. We all have ups and downs and moments where we don't feel loved or want to love...but God uses people, prayer, and priorities to heal us and bring us to a better place than we thought possible.
Also, check out this link: http://www.gotquestions.org/making-marriage-last.html
While I worry about hundreds of thousands of innocents slaughtered in genocides around the world, Jon and Kate's current troubles keep me up at night. Genocide is one thing -- or, say, the 1 in 6 people in the world (nearly 1 billion) who are starving -- but the plight of Jon and Kate and their children is a national crisis, an American crisis. While I'm able to shut out the brutality against the world's children, I can't keep my mind off of how Jon and Kate will manage to pay for every one of their children to attend a four-year college and afford the latest must-have technologies (iPhone, flat-screen TV, etc.). I saw something about protesters being beaten and killed in Iran last night and quickly changed the channel because I felt like, as an American, I should be praying for Jon and Kate, two other Americans.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 43, thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Indeed, there will always be poor, hungry, and suffering so long as this world exists.
ReplyDeleteSome are called to intercede for one person/couple/group while you may be called to intercede for one or all of the people you mentioned.
That's the beauty of prayer...no one person can pray for everything or everyone. However, EVERYONE - even your enemies, even those who you disagree with or that hate you - need prayer and to be shown God's love.
So you're saying that we have to even pray for our enemies, the Muslims? That's a pretty tall order, though. Like I mentioned, it's hard enough to concentrate on Jon and Kate and their children. To do so, I already have to block out all of the death, torture and starvation of innocent people around the world. So if I'm not even going to think about them, it would be a real struggle to pray for our enemies, the Muslims, who are actively trying to take away my freedom to selectively pray for Americans.
ReplyDeleteI pray for everyone and everything at once...it takes less time that way. I'm a very busy person.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 45, indeed, we are to pray for those who hate us. It's easy to return a fist with a fist or a weapon for a weapon (and there are times for war) but it is much more difficult to pray for someone who who dispises you.
ReplyDeleteLuke 6:27-28 says: "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."
Rick, thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. I am impressed with your positive prayerfulness.
ReplyDeleteA great book that I am almost finished with is "Love and Respect" by Dr Emerson Eggerichs who is affiliated with Focus on the Family. I am planning on posting a review on this book soon. I hope you will check it out, and add it to your helpful resources.
God bless you in your endeaver to bring God into the picture.
This is stained with immorality, all of you have blood on your hands for praying for these people
ReplyDeleteplease add Dr. Emerson Eggerich's book Love and Respect to your resources. It is a very convicting book---A man deeply needs his wife's respect and honor---even more than he needs her love. We women can get confused and want our husband to love us like we want to be loved and maybe that is not how God designed men. Just as a husband is told to love his wife as Christ loves the Church that He gave Himself up for her---Jon Gosselin please heed the words in THE WORD and Kate treat your husband with honor. Please get your family in order---God first, marriage second and then the children. It seems like at this time everything is out of order in your lives. You will reap what you sow if God is not first in your lives---it is not easy and is a hard lesson to learn but please learn before it is too late! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteyes and Jonah didn't want Ninevah to heal either. We are called to pray for our enemies.
ReplyDeleteI lived the life similar to Kate's- My husband was carrying on with a female 'friend' of ours and finally admitted he was going through "a selfish stage" and needed to leave our family. God brought me to my knees. My only prayer then was to put God first in the lives of our family- whoever that may include. Dad never came back but praying for the Holy Spirit to flood your home? WOWWW- I prayed for it- I got it!
Praying for you Kate- for God's will!
I do understand that sometimes people grow apart. I just think that it's very sad to see it happen to them. I really enjoy watching the show.I have watch the show since day faithfully.I have always said "I kinda can relate to thier family,for I have been married for ten years also to my husband except we only have four boys." It's now scares me to see that they even having that many children they would consider divorcing without any counceling.I now you shouldn't stay married just for the kids sake,because that's not healthy for them, but I wished they could of found the love that they've had for the past ten yrs and some how find they way back to each other.
ReplyDeletePraying for the children and Jon and Kate. May Gods will be done. Please pray for these innocent children that god come into their hearts and guide them through with no scaring.
ReplyDeleteI wish people would spend time at councilling, or even apart for a period of time before the finality of divorce. Once the divorce is done it is so easy to walk away and not turn back, but if you try working at it, and I really do mean try and not just half hearted or pretend, then at least you will have done everything you can to fix things. If we fail an exam we usually try again,we study a bit more etc. The same should go for a marriage. If it then doesnt work out, well thats real sad, but how can you not even try? Sometimes all you need is time away from everyone and this includes outside influences, you can then clear your head and see what is real and important to you
ReplyDeleteHere's a great article, if you haven't seen it already: http://www.christianity.com/blogs/abanes/11605156/
ReplyDeleteThis is originally anony #28 - can't seem to get a name going on here...wattsup??
ReplyDeleteRegarding praying for the Muslims -- without a doubt we should be spending hours a day praying for them, for thru God, miracles happen. It is only thru the Word of God that their hearts can be softened thru the grace of Christ and then they too can be reached with the truth.
Remember...Jesus himself, as he was hanging on the cross, bloodied, beat, and close to death, prayed to God, His own Father, and said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they have done."
My husband, Thank you God for such a wonderful Godly man to call my best friend and father of my children, lives out this example daily. At first I found it really hard to pray for those who purposefully strove to undermine me at work, make my duties harder than they already were... but everytime I would complain, his answer was the same...Honey, pray for them.
About two weeks later, I had to face-to-face one of these women (who made my life a living hell), and after she was done with her putdowns etc in front of several people...I just looked at her and said, "I don't know what is going on with you, your anger, your disrepecet, but all I can say is I will pray for you."
She looked at me like I had just grown an extra head, got red in the face, looked like she was going to erupt, and then ... just looked at me again, and tears welled up in her eyes and she turned around and ran away. Later that day she approached me with others around and, I believe, gave me a heartfelt apology for the way that she had been acting. Before she walked away, she turned and very softly just to me said, ..thanks for praying for me.
Prayers for our enemies is biblical and shows that we can truly trust God for His will to be done.
You are right, both Jon and Kate both have responsibility in this mess. I have never, ever seen a wife so disrespectful to her husband. Likewise I have never seen a husband so absent in a relationship. She doesn't think before she speaks...He doesn't think before he acts.
If they would have just sought counseling before now, they probably would not be in this position now. Unfortunately, with our sinful nature, it is probably this lack of thinking that drew so many viewers to this show...to see just how long it would last.
Very sad.
I find it truly frightening that people would waste their time on these people. If you believe in prayer and whatnot, there must be millions of better things to pray for,besides two adults who are responsible for their own lives. Jim- Ontario Canada
ReplyDeleteto Jim in Ontario---would it not be sad if God thought you were a waste of time? Jon and Kate have declared themselves to be Christians. Paul encourages us to be there for one another and to lift each other up in prayer and to encourage and build one another up. As Rick has said on this sight repeatedly, each of us listens to the Holy Spirit and are led by Him to pray for different things. We aren't all led to pray for Jon and Kate but those who have been are just being obedient to God to do so. You Jim in Ontario can do what you are led to do. But please do be respectful to those who are led to pray for them and also to Jon and Kate---who knows if God has them in the public eye so they can be prayed for??? God does work in mysterious ways and His ways are always higher than man's. If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ--God's Son that was sent to redeem mankind to the Father---I pray that you seek Him out. Life is short---eternity is forever and He wishes that NONE should perish!
ReplyDeleteWhy hate Jon and Kate? Because they are selfish, greedy parents who would rather end their marriage before trying to salvage it than end a stupid reality show. Nice priorities! Those poor kids!
ReplyDeleteI don't believe it is all about their reality show. It is about immaturity, not putting God first in their life, ahead of their children and themselves, loving your wife sacrificially and honoring and respecting your husband. Who is not greedy or selfish without having to fall flat on your face before realizing it. They are young and they are being sanctified---it is not an easy road. Pray that Jon would realize he is being selfish. Pray that Kate would realize her disrespect for her husband. Pray that they would put God first in their lives. They keep saying everything is for their children---we can make idols out of our children or anything else we put first--God is dealing with them. If this was not public it would quiety just go away. Let those who are called to lift the Gosselin family up in prayer do so. Maybe the rest of us should take the log out of our own eyes and stop and let the Lord deal with the specks in our brother's eye.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that I'm still praying for them - until it is taken away from my heart to do so - and so far it's still there.
ReplyDeleteYes, to all the writers who've indicated, there's more important things going on in this world, but for those of us who are in hard marriages or have been through hard marriages, we can emphathize, and that's why we care, and likely why we are led to pray, because we know what to pray.
what an amazing blog that truly shows the love of God working in all of you! This is GOD working! God Bless you all, in your lives, your families and God Bless you Rick, for sharing His fruit. In Him, ALL things are possible! He is who has kept my husband and I together, a song we had at our wedding. It takes three to keep the precious cord of marriage tightly braided and strong! To Him I give the glory!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I have discovered this site. I have cried many tears and prayed many prayers for Jon and Kate. I have done this not because they are Jon and Kate the TV Stars, but rather because they are two Christians who are struggling. I really believe they started struggling as individuals a long time ago and rather than turning to each other, it was easier to turn away. Has it crossed anyone's mind that when this all started we heard that Jon and Kate were Christians and yet we do not see strong day-to-day testimony on their show? I have heard (but do not know for sure) that TLC edits out any Christian references - maybe by Jon and Kate selling out and agreeing to TLC's terms, they then started down the slippery slope and Satan began to attack. Rather than using the show to show God as the center of their marriage and the head of their home, the show became "all about me" and God was neatly put in the corner. I don't think this was ever their original intention, but in this crazy world we live in, tv networks are so afraid to dwell on the "God thing" because it may hurt their ratings. So, for ratings, the network was probably convinced the safer route was not to allow Jon and Kate to appear like "Holy Rollers" - don't want us Christians scaring off viewers, right? What a mistake! If we close God out of any part of our life, Satan claims that part and then moves forward with full force to capture all of our life and control all of our decisions.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for them and their family. For those who make fun of us who pray, I pray even harder for you and I pray someday the Lord will convict you so that you understand why a Prayer Warrior in your court is a wonderful blessing. May God bless those of you who are praying for this family. We don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know my God does hold tomorrow and I know he is in total control!
To anonymous 58, I'll keep rational and critical thought. Thanks anyways, but your prayers are not needed, appreciated or pragmatic- Jim.
ReplyDeleteHello. Thanks for creating this blog. I had started a similar pact with some of my girlfriends and bible study partners. To not get caught up in the gossip and how Jon and Kate were acting in their lives but to pray for their marriage, and their personal relationships with Jesus. Glad to see others are with me on it.
ReplyDeleteTo Jim from Ontario---how sad for you that you just revealed who your god is---your rational, critical thoughts and you don't need prayers or appreciate them. The Bible even states that the things of God are foolishness to man. One day every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. These are not my words but THE WORD. My words mean nothing and that is okay. I am a simple person and unless the words out of my mouth are from the heart of God and not from my soulish flesh they are nothing. God's Word will always remain even after our foolish lives are over. The heart of God is sad when man rejects His Son as He wishes no one would perish. But the grace of God allows us to make choices who we want to live for--ourselves or Him. On another note---with the other news going on--especially the passing of Michael Jackson--the Gosselein family is getting a reprieve from the media.
ReplyDeleteMy 4 girls and I have been praying for Jon & Kate for many weeks now and will not stop. We believe God's word and see that Jon & Kate have just gotten "lost" and off track, just like we all do at times. I believe their marriage can be saved and my hearts desire today is that we fervently pray today through the weekend for them. I understand that they plan to all be together on Saturday for the 4th of July holiday! I pray that God will work miraculously through that time spent and will lay on Jon & Kate's heart what their original goals and dreams were for their family, that they would not be able to rest the next few days due to God convicting their hearts to seek Him in this situation and also they would somehow be drawn back to each other and have a desire to fight for their marriage and receive the Christian counseling that they need and I also am praying that the words that were spoken to their children about why they were renewing their vows and what that meant "We will never divorce" I pray that those words will ring in their hearts constantly. Even if that was only for the TV show, it was real to the children. I have been through marriage troubles that felt like they were going to kill me, and it would have been easier to make the pain go away instead of fight the hard battle I fought, I wanted to do what was right in God's eyes, not what my desires were screaming at me to do. Let's all pray without ceasing between now and the weekend for God to mightily use this time together to begin drawing their family back together and bring some healing to the hurts they both feel!
ReplyDeleteI am still praying and am encouraged by michele 67 and her words. I hope that as the media spotlight fades from this family, that we will all continue to keep this family in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteAnon. 66- It's not sad at all to have a rational mind, quite the opposite. You believe in the Bible simply because of the environment you were raised in. If you had been born in Yemen, India or Tibet, you would believe in different scripture and of course a different god(s). I don't know how literal you believe the Bible to be, chances are you pick and choose the parts to believe as fact, and others as parable etc. If you do believe the earth is approx. 6000 yrs old, then that is truly sad- Jim
ReplyDeleteI know that this is not going to sound positive but let's be realistic. God saves many marriages but there are others which do not survive even though everything was done to save them. It's similar to why some people are healed from cancer and others die from it. There are no easy answers. Only God sees the big picture and the details in a situation that we cannot see. Maybe that's the case here. We don't know the mind of God as much as we would like to. I was in a similar situation and did everything in my power to save it. Unfortunately, it did not work out the way I would have liked. Years later, I'm starting to see the reasons and let me tell you, God knew what he was doing and saving me from in my own situation. You can't just marry anybody and then demand that God make it work-he doesn't work that way. Everybody has free will and he's not going to chain your spouse to the couch until he decides to change if that happens at all. God doesn't override anyone's will in order to conform them to our Norman Rockwell expectations of marriage. I'm sorry but sometimes after we've exhausted our efforts, taken it all to God, and done everything humanly possible to make things work--it still ends. The question is are we still going to keep our eyes on God despite the outcome?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 70, thanks for sharing. You're absolutely correct in that some situations we can pray for God to change...and they do not. Whether that be for cancer or a marriage to be healed, sometimes it's not in His plan for the situation to change.
ReplyDeleteThat's where we have to be "grown up" and realize that we have to be obedient and pray...knowing that He hears our prayers which hopefully are more focused on seeking His Will than our own desires.
Gods messenger, thanks for your heartfelt comments. We can only pray that focus can be shifted to God and true healing can happen.
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